Marital Problems? Best Marriage Tips

 Best Marriage Tips for those experiencing marital problems.

In order to explore some of the best tips for marriage we need to look at some of the most common problems and arguments married couples have.  Feel free to scroll down to your specific problem we'll be giving the best tips on each one as we go. The big ones we'll be exploring here are Money, Sex, Life Direction, and intimacy problems. 

Money, tips for solving money problems in your marriage

The most commonly sited problems in marriage today have something to do with money.  Almost always the root cause is communication and the corresponding agreement on some key points which we'll go over below in our best tips.

           1)  Decide together on a discretionary budget for each spouse make sure it is IDENTICAL.

           2)  ANY and all debt acquired must be of mutual agreement between partners.

           3)  Any work related expenses must be transparent and understood by both partners

           4)  Set common financial goals for large purchases (prioritize and make a list) and saving.

           5)  If one partner cannot agree on a purchase or use of money the other one insist upon and it exceeds the discretionary budget pre-determined that partner can only make the purchase from funds acquired outside of the budget.  (ie second job, side business)  NO loans from friends etc...

           6) Compromise equally on disagreements; ie; I want to buy a $2500 HDTV, my spouse does not.  If you buy the TV out of joint funds the other didn't really want, the NEXT $2500 must be used by your spouse's goals independently of your desires.

7)  This one got it's own line because it is dicey and something not everyone will agree with but here it  is.  KEEP A JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT for all joint responsibilities ie; mortgage, car payments, credit card debt, utility payments, gas etc.  All earned income must go here first then if budgeted together you can keep separate accounts for spending money, individual savings goals etc...  You see the biggest problem is that someone isn't feeling treated fairly or feels like something is hidden.  There can't be a problem if you agree to a framework and it's never broken almost all the problems come when someone try's to be sneaky or dishonest.   

Sex, love advice tips     

Let's face reality almost no two people want or enjoy all of the same things sexually and nor will your spouse.  Unless there is a medical problems(GO SEE A DOCTOR) or a physiological trauma(See a therapist) sex is an essential joint benefit to most marriages.

Why is sex so important?  How often do you here about a couple with an amazing sex life getting divorced?  It is important you both feel equally good about your sex life.  Usually this is a sign of emotional intimacy as well at least if it's long term.

1) Not enough Sex?  If one of you feels like there isn't enough sex in your marriage.  There isn't.  Feelings aren't wrong and the partner is feeling this way for a reason.  Your love partner's needs and desire should be near the top of your important list in life.  

2) Responsible communication; you should not hide or cushion the reasons you don't want to have as much or a certain kind of sex with your partner.  Open HONEST communication is important, don't hide anything.  It;s OK to remind your partner that both of your feelings are equally valuable.

3) RESPOND - with the same enthusiasm the act itself calls for in addressing the issues or reason for not wanting to be intimate with you partner.  Once they tell you why you must HELP your spouse in addressing the problem.  Your spouse must then put all the effort required to address the issue with you.  TIP- true effort equals results.

4) Compromise.  Remember what I said at the beginning the likelihood that you'll both want all the same things is next to ZERO, don't expect it.  Write down the sexual differences you feel and once the emotional and image issues are resolved COMPROMISE the remaining problems.  

SEX - three popular compromises.   

TRADEOFF: I won't do this thing, but I will do this other thing you really like.

ON OCCASION: I don't really like that but because it's important to you I'll do it sometimes.(it's important if this is a compromise, the partner do  whatever it is in a way that doesn't make the spouse feel guilty, and doesn't do anything out of anger)

ONLY IF:  Well that's not fun for me so I'll only do that IF(this could be another sexual thing on your respective wishes, or something else in the marriage of equal value)

Try to keep any of the NEVER's down as low as possible.  NEVER's can create resentment or be deal breakers, so loving communication here is vital.   Of course you both have an ABSOLUTE RIGHT to never's but as a general marriage tip, the less never's that are desire's of your spouse makes a happier partner.  On the opposite hand it is equally important your not compromising on something that will make you resent your spouse.

Life Direction Tips on Planning Happy Marriage

Hopefully you were honest with each other on where you want to go before getting married.  But say you weren't or things changed since the marriage began there are still some tips on helping you both look in the same direction.

In marriage you are two separate people who when in love should share each others dreams and hopes. 

Avoid at all cost the statements like: Well if you do this I can't do that. I want to go here so we can't do that.  

Be Problemsolvers - almost always there is a way to have your cake and eat it too.  Weigh your other marriage goals.  Maybe this means delaying a goal, it's not the end of the world - just make a firm commitment when the compromise is made on an absolute timeline to move to your spouses priority.

Tell your spouse what you need from them to feel like they care about where the two of you are going.  It's OK to want your spouse to get a better job, spend more time with the kids, or help you stay close to your family.  Leave selfishness behind on big deals to your spouse.

Big Tip: Make a plan TOGETHER that can move both of you and your marriage towards the same direction.

*remember the old adage if it's important to your husband/wife it will be important to you.  99% of the time your excuse for not moving ahead towards your spouses direction is LAZINESS, don't make excuses.*

Intimacy problems and tips for marriage;

 A lack of intimacy will destroy an outwardly happy marriage.  Top tips for creating better intimacy below.

1) Make your spouse feel special! - A quick love note, flowers, a text asking their opinion, a special dinner, open the door, look in their eyes. SOMETHING just don't get complacent.

2) SCHEDULE time together with just the two of you. In today's crazy busy world it's easy to say "well when we get a chance".  No, MAKE IT HAPPEN.

3) Share something great today, and something bad tomorrow.  Your spouse will feel closer to you if you speak with them about how something effected you positively or negatively.

4) Surprise them, at least once a week.  Yes, marriage can get mundane. DO something the other doesn't expect it let's them know you do think about them.

SAY I LOVE YOU  

SHOW THEM YOUR LOVE